Desires

There is often less danger in the things we fear than in the things we desire.

~John C. Collins

Desires

We all have desires. We all have dreams. We all have goals. We all don't however, pursue them in a matter that is fulfilling or that will make them come to fruition. Desiring something and actually taking the necessary steps to achieve it go hand in hand. You cannot have one without the other in order to be successful. You also have to know what you truly desire, not what you think you might want. Practice sitting in silence for a few minutes and think about what you desire most. See which ones come to the forefront and which ones fade away. The desires you are left with are the paths that you need to pursue. Having a clear understanding of what you truly desire will help you achieve your dreams. Don't desire something just because your friend or neighbor has it, desire it because it will be right for you. Don't try and be someone your not. Keep your desires true to you and you will forge your own path that is wondrous and meaningful for you and only you!

Serenity

God grant me the serenity to accept the people I cannot change, the courage to change the one I can, and the wisdom to know it's me.

~Author unknown, variation of an excerpt from "The Serenity Prayer" by Reinhold Neibuhr

Serenity

Most of us chase after our goals with the hopes that when we ultimately reach them, then we will find peace, happiness and serenity. Well what if you found out the opposite was true? What if the serenity you desire so much was already in front of you just waiting for you to acknowledge and see it? Chasing your goals will only keep them an arms length away. Chasing serenity and longing for peace will also keep them an arms length away. Reverse this cycle. Serenity is not something that comes after you have achieved success, it should come way before that! By achieving a state of gratitude, calm and peacefulness, you will open the doors to your goals and dreams materializing without having to "chase" them. Life does not want you to be so stressed that you miss the whole point. Find your inner peace, that state of complete joy, and serenity and watch how your life seems to open up and fall into place.

Mistakes

You will do foolish things, but do them with enthusiasm.

~Colette

Mistakes

We all make mistakes. Yes, all of us! Sometimes we choose something or someone that doesn't give us the results we were hoping or looking for. Sometimes our mistakes are easier to swallow then others. Sometimes our mistakes take some time to get past.

In every mistake we have made, it has brought us closer to knowing ourselves just a little bit better. In every mistake, we learned our limitations (or the lack thereof). In every mistake, we learned the true meaning of the word courage. In every mistake, we learned how to choose differently the next time. We also learned that nothing can break us down. Our mistakes can only build us up to be stronger than before.

Mistakes are not good or bad, they are ultimately life lessons that make us stronger and more certain with who we are and what we want out of life. So give yourself permission to learn from your mistakes rather than to beat yourself up over them!

Stress

Tension is who you think you should be.

Relaxation is who you are.

~Chinese Proverb

Stress

Just saying that word can make the back of our necks stiff, cause our heartbeat to increase and make us start to sweat. Stress is what we feel when we are not in a state of rest, relaxation or peace which for some of means we are stressed every single minute of our lives! Now some people use stress as a "motivator" to get things done. Others feel that they somehow "deserve" the stress that is in their lives. Well it's time to knock those feelings to the floor and throw them out with the trash. The belief that we have to be stressed to be successful, to achieve our goals or to deserve happiness is just false. You were not put on this earth to live in a state of stress for that will do nothing for you but put you in an early grave. Life is meant to be enjoyed, cherished, embraced and when you are not doing this, you are really not living. Stop waiting to take a vacation to get "destressed", stop waiting for the project to be over with to finally calm down and stop waiting for permission from others to quiet your soul. Find a way to release your stress productively and start to see that when you find that place of calm in your spirit, everything else will start to fall into order.

Retreat

(picture taken by my sister Colleen at the Bronx Zoo)

Nowhere can man find a quieter or more untroubled retreat than in his own soul.

~Marcus Aurelius, Meditations

Retreat

Sometime in the hustle and bustle of your busy day, find a few minutes to take a deep breath and retreat. It is so easy to get caught up in the chaos and craziness of our lives. We all need some down time, even if it's only a few minutes. It is so important to make sure we remain grounded and focused during our day not only at getting our tasks done, but to really feel present in all that we do and conscious of all that we say. Retreating lets us center our soul. Retreating lets us not forget who we are and what life is all about. Give yourself some time today to retreat back to your core. This will make every day, no matter what is going on around you, feel like a true gift.

Fun

(my little cousin Zachary who knows how to enjoy life)

Jumping for joy is good exercise.

~Author Unknown

Fun

Today is a day to let your imagination soar! Maybe you have been working too hard lately, taking life a little too seriously, and you feel like you could use a break. Well it's time to bring some energy and fun back into your life. Do something today that makes you smile, makes you laugh, makes you joyful, makes you feel like you can do anything, be anything, something that makes you feel more you like you! There is too much beauty in the world not to see it, embrace it and soak it in. Enjoy today for what it is, a reason to dance, live it up and just enjoy life. Have some fun today and don't forget to bring some other people along for the ride!

Always Do Your Best

A goal without a plan

is just a wish.

~Antoine de Saint Exupery

Always Do Your Best

There are days that you wake up and feel like you can take on the world! Then there are days that you get out of bed reluctantly and convince yourself that if you give at least 65%, you will get by. This is a normal thought process but the more you give in to only going at less than 100%, the more it will hurt you in the long run. If you wake up in the morning and decide that no matter what happens you are going to try your hardest that day, you have already won. When you put your best foot forward and try your best in every single situation, you will live a life without regret. You will never look back and say, could I have tried a little harder? Could I have dreamed a little bigger? Could I have obtained the goals I set up to accomplish? Having the understanding that when you put your very best effort into life and into your daily situations, you will create a more positive and centered environment for you and everyone around you to dwell in. By doing your best, it will be much easier for you to also be impeccable with the word, to not take things so personally and you will stop making assumptions and base your knowledge on truth and open communication. This is how you live your most fulfilling life. So don't wait! Take a deep breath in today and let it out with the momentum of having your best day.

(This is the last Agreement from the book, The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz. It's an amazing book and I encourage you all to pick up a copy. It just might change your life like it did mine.)

Don't Make Assumptions

Begin challenging your own assumptions. Your assumptions are your windows on the world. Scrub them off every once in awhile, or the light won't come in.

~Alan Alda

Don't Make Assumptions

Every single day we make assumptions about people and about situations. We assume we know why that young woman is standing on that street corner. We assume we know why that homeless man is living in the park. We assume we know why our boss is in a terrible mood. We assume we know why our friend is staying in a bad relationship. We assume a lot of things throughout our day. The question is, are we always right? Well most of the time what we assume and what actually is the truth are two different things entirely. When you stop making assumptions about people and about situations, you leave yourself open to finding the truth. When you start asking people what they mean by what they just said or why they are feeling a certain way, that leaves room for open communication.

Assumptions lead to gossip. Gossip leads to hurt feelings. Hurt feelings lead to relationships that become strained. Strained relationships lead to heartache and pain. Who needs all that toxic behavior in their life? Stop making assumptions and start communicating with others. Build relationships based on truth and you will always find peace.

(The next two pearls will be based on the four agreements from the book, "The Four Agreements" by Don Miguel Ruiz.)

Be Impeccable With Your Words

You can tell more about a person by what he says about others than you can by what others say about him.

~Leo Aikman

Be Impeccable With Your Words

Our primary form of communication in this world is through our words. We use our words to finish a task, speak our opinions, give direction, relay an experience and so on. But do you ever really stop and think about what you are saying BEFORE you use your words to communicate? Do you ever pause and think about how to express yourself in the most clear, concise and non-judgmental way? Most of us speak without even really thinking first. Most of us just feel that we can say whatever we want to whomever we want. You have to stop and ask yourself though, is this the best way I can truly communicate with others? The answer of course is no, it's not. Words are the most powerful tool we have as human beings. I've said this once and it's worth repeating a thousand times. Words can be so powerful that they save someone from despair. They can also be so vengeful that they cause unbelievable pain. What we choose to say in a day and how we say it can build someone up or destroy them, and that also includes ourselves. The more you take the time to think about your words before you speak them, the more your life will be in balance. See, you can't go around spewing out hurtful, hateful, painful words and expect that life is going to answer you back with ease and peace. Your words create your world. Your words create your experiences. Your words create the friendships around you or the lack there of. You are the only person responsible for what you say, not what everyone else says. So remember to take a step back, think about what you are really trying to communicate and make sure the words that you speak match your spirit inside.

(The next three pearls will be based on the four agreements from the book, "The Four Agreements" by Don Miguel Ruiz.)

Don't Take it Personally

Never miss an opportunity to make others happy,

even if you have to leave them alone in order to do it.

~Author Unknown

Don't Take it Personally

For some reason people like to take out their feelings upon others. Have you ever caught the wrath of a family member, friend, co-worker or complete stranger that was unsolicited? What happens in these situations? Well, we usually become quite defensive and attack the person back because we feel they are attacking our character. But how would you feel if you knew that although this person is spewing negativity in your direction, it actually has nothing to do with you? So many times people do and say things that get us so worked up and upset. They can ruin our day or have us questioning our own self-worth. When you can emotionally remove yourself from the situation at hand though, you can take a step back and realize that this negativity isn't really about you. It has everything to do with the person that's aiming it at you and they are really just yelling at themselves and using you as a mirror. When people come at you, say mean things about you or to you, release anger upon you, the best (and hardest) thing you can do in that moment is to not take it personally. Don't let another person ruin your day or shape your experiences based on their own personal turmoil. Remember, you may not be able to change that person or their attitude but you can change how you perceive the situation and your actions that follow. By not taking it personally, you will start to live a more freeing and centered life. You will find much needed peace in tough situations. Never let another person define who you are, dictate how you feel or control the direction of your life. Learn how to not take things so personally and enjoy your life for what it is ~ your life!

(The next four pearls will be based on the four agreements from the book, "The Four Agreements" by Don Miguel Ruiz.)

Family

A man travels the world over in search of what he needs, and returns home to find it.

~George Moore

Special Addition Pearl *guest writer for today: Karen Sierra (my sister)

Family

Family can make you absolutely crazy. They can be exhausting, they can be forgiving, they can be there when nobody else is, they can test your patience, they can make you broke, they can make you rich, they can disappoint like no other, they can bring you joy that you never knew, they can hurt you more than anyone, but they can also love you unconditionally when nobody else wants to. Some run away from their families to find independence or to get sanity, others run to their families to find strength and hope. I never really understood all of this until I moved away from mine. I'm reminded every time I visit or spend time with them how lucky I truly am. Family is not only those we are related to by blood but those who become our family through love. Be thankful for whomever you consider family and be grateful for each and every moment you can share together.

Believe

I can't believe that God put us on this earth to be ordinary.

~Lou Holtz

Believe

When you were a child you probably believed in the Tooth Fairy, Santa Claus, Cinderella, Prince Charming and other fictional characters. As we got older, someone spilled the beans and our world seemed to collapse in that very moment. If what we believed in with all of our hearts was not true, what else wasn't true? Could we ever trust anything ever again? The answer is yes. Believing in something gives us hope. It inspires us to do better and be better. Believing in yourself and humanity will open up your world. If you close yourself to the possibility of the miracles and blessings of life you will never fully experience the joy of living. Believing in something doesn't make you immature, childish or a dreamer, it makes you connected to the world in a way that is inspiring. Don't ever lose that sense of awe and wonder when it comes to believing in that which you can and cannot see. So for today, believe in yourself like you did when you were a child. Believe in the goodness of people like you have never been hurt. Believe that life, with all its ups and downs, is truly miraculous.

Relationships

Dare to be imperfect and one day there will tug at your sleeve a soulmate.

~Robert Brault

Relationships

How many times have you listening to Tom Cruise say the words, "you complete me" and something inside of you just melts. You shed a small tear and wonder if someone will every feel or even say those magical words to you. But do you really want someone else to complete you or rather to compliment you? The truth is that you are already complete. You were born unto this earth for a purpose. Your journey may intertwine with others but it's the life lessons you learn that connect you more to yourself. Other people in your life should be there to compliment you, to support you as you should be there for them in the same capacity. When you look towards another human being to feel "whole" or "complete" you are treading on unbalanced ground and that kind of pressure is unfair to put on anyone. You are your own miraculous human being that doesn't need completion, for you already are. What you need is a gentle hand to hold along your journey. By embracing this idea you will find that your relationships become more peaceful and your happiness as individuals becomes an overwhelming force of joy together.

Blessings

May you live as long as you want,

And never want as long as you live.

~Irish Blessing

Blessings

Stop, close your eyes and take a few moments to think about all of the blessings in your life. What are you grateful for today? What blessings have you received in the past that have uplifted you and carried you through some rough moments. Blessings are all around, it's just that sometimes we don't stick our heads out of the chaos enough to see them. It's easy to stay upset, it's easy to feel overwhelmed by life and it's easy to feel defeated. It's not productive though and it's just as easy to be joyful, to be grateful for the wonderful people and situations in your life and to see and feel all of the blessings that surround you. The more you can connect to the blessings, and the more you can be grateful for what you do have, the more life will answer you back in a positive way. Positive energy attracts more positive energy. So for today, do not think about what you don't have or what you want and be grateful for what you do have. Blessings are all around; the key is to hesitate long enough to embrace them!

Cleanse

The cure for anything is salt water - sweat, tears, or the sea.

~Isak Dinesen

Cleanse

Put down the frappuccinos, the diet drinks and smoothies for it's time to cleanse the body! Maybe you have been to a few too many BBQ's lately or just eating on the go more than you usually do but now is the time to slow down and listen to what you body has been trying to tell you lately ~ I need a break! Especially during these hotter months our bodies need a drink that you can get anywhere and it usually costs you nothing, especially if you get it from home. Yes that is correct, I am talking about water. We are made up of mostly water and need this wonderful substance in order to survive yet most of us can go all day without even one glass of it. It's time to change that. Water helps detoxify the body and cleanse the system. There is no other substance out there that can do what a simple few glasses of water can for your mind, body and of course, spirit. Water is our life line so don't ignore it ~ embrace it. Put a slice of organic orange or cucumber in it to make it even more delicious. The more healthy substances you put into your body, the more it will run smoothly. It's that simple. You can reverse that bloated feeling, shed those few pounds and start feeling in better health by making better choices and you can start by choosing water! It's simple yet it can be life changing. So go ahead and try it, start cleansing your body today and see how it makes you feel.

Attitude

(photo taken by my mom Sue, on my parents great 8 state adventure)

If you don't think every day is a good day,

just try missing one.

~Cavett Robert

Attitude

When you wake up in the morning you make a choice; are you going to be open or closed to life today? When your feet hit the ground you make a choice; am I going to be happy or miserable today? When you are traveling to work you make a choice; am I going to get mad at the drivers around me or enjoy my travels? When you have your first interaction with your boss you make a choice; am I going to be friendly and try or just roll my eyes and get angry?

Every single day, or actually every single moment, you make choices about your attitude. You have the power to have a wonderful day or to convince yourself pretty early on, that your day is going to be nothing but miserable.

Too many times we blame outside forces for our attitudes or behavior. We rarely want to admit that we actually have control over our own happiness, actions and attitude. But here's the thing, we do. No one has control over our emotions except us. No one has control over what we say or how we say it. No one has control over our own happiness. Are there things that will happen in a day that will try our tolerance? Yep. Are there situations that will happen that might get us annoyed. Yep. But none of these situations have to determine your own personal happiness or how you deal with them. That's entirely up to you. Taking control and responsibility over your own attitude will help you live a more centered and focused life. If you want today to be fabulous, well than go out there and have yourself a fabulous day. And the day after that too!

Commitment

Promises are like babies:

easy to make, hard to deliver.

~Author Unknown

Commitment

What have you wanted to change but haven't had the courage yet to accomplish? What promises have you made to yourself, or others, and have not followed through on? What is holding you back from achieving your goals? What are you so afraid of? Why have you not fully committed yourself to living your best life?

There are things that you have been putting off for far too long as well as aspects of your life that are unfinished because you haven't fully committed to completing them. If you are like most people, you are constantly saying that you will finish the project or follow through with a promise another day. Well what if that day never comes? What if you only had today to accomplish something? Would you then follow through with it? Would there be nothing to stop you from finally accomplishing your goal? Well then stop this waiting game and use today to take that giant leap!

Make a list of your unfinished goals and promises. Take a long hard look at why you have not fully immersed yourself in completing them. Then find a way to trample those excuses and forge ahead. Find a way to make your dreams come true. Find a way to not waste one more day waiting for tomorrow. Live for today, only today, and finally find the courage and strength to just go for it! It's time to make the ultimate commitment to yourself, to get your life back on track!

Forgiveness

To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you.

~Lewis B. Smedes

Forgiveness

There may be some situations that have happened in your life, whether recent or way in your past, that you just have not been able to let go off. You are hurt, sad and maybe you even feel like a part of you was forever changed because of these negative experiences. There may not be a week or even a day that goes by where you don't stop and think about what happened and end up feeling the pain all over again. Maybe you even shoved your feelings so deep down inside that although you've told yourself you're over it, they are only a heart beat away from flooding to the surface. When your energy is spent in a state of hurt and pain (or in a state of keeping it from surfacing), these emotions get locked up inside of you. By holding on to these feelings, you are not allowing yourself to move forward. You are not allowing yourself to grow as a person. You have created a constant state of turmoil for your body and spirit to be in. But above all, you are giving the other person a power over your life, your feelings and your future that they should not have. Why are you letting someone else control you and how you feel? Is this fair to you? I think not! Think about the situations you have been holding on too for far too long. Now is the time to find a way to let it go. Do not wait for tomorrow or for a year from now, you must find a way to start letting go of it today. Now is the time to release yourself of the chains that you have been dragging around for far too long. Be sad, be angry but then truly surrender it over to the universe. Don't worry about the other parties involved in this situation, it's not about them, this is about you. You do not have to forget what happened, but you must be able to let go of the resentment and anger in order to start moving in a more positive direction. Don't you want your freedom back? I think so. Start forgiving today and you will find that you just enlarged your future!

Simplicity

Be content with what you have,

rejoice in the way things are.

When you realize there is nothing lacking,

the whole world belongs to you.

~Lao Tzu

Simplicity

How many times have you thought to yourself, "this was supposed to be simple"? How many times do you start on a project and then it snowballs and becomes something bigger than what you can handle? How many times does a situation arise in your life and instead of finding a simple solution, it gets overwhelming and you can't see a way out? Well it's time to bring back simplicity into your life! We tend to make situations and issues a lot bigger than they have to be. We tend to get in the way of our own solutions. We tend to make things more complicated instead of easier on us. Well this needs to change. Keeping things in your life simple will make it easier for you to breathe and feel more relaxed in your own skin. It's time to purge the clutter out. It's time to tackle a project head on and not wait for it to grow bigger than what you can handle. It's time to find enjoyment and fulfillment in what you already have around you. We've all heard that expression K.I.S.S., well it's time to Keep It Simple Sweetie and get rid of any object or situation that is cluttering your happiness. The simpler you make your life, the more enjoyment you will feel. Understand that life wants us all to sit back, relax and enjoy the ride.

Harmony

Happiness is like a butterfly which, when pursued, is always beyond our grasp, but, if you will sit down quietly, may alight upon you.

~Nathaniel Hawthorne

Harmony

We are all in search of balance. Every single day we seem to be trying to obtain some sense of harmony between work, family and relationships. It can be quite a balancing act at times and more often than not, it seems that one of those things is just beyond our grasp. Achieving harmony is not about pursuing or grasping it though. If that's what you are doing then it will always be just out of your reach. See, harmony is not something that you can obtain or hold on to. Harmony is something that you achieve once you finally are able to let go of strong desire to "have" it. Harmony is a lot like a butterfly. It's beautiful, peaceful and mesmerizing. We can spend hours admiring it flying around and desire to capture it so that we can enjoy it all of the time. When we lunge forward to grasp it, it's always one step ahead of us. The more energy we put out trying to capture the butterfly, the more it remains elusive. But the moment we release the feeling of wanting to hold onto to it and remain silent and still, the butterfly finds its way to us for a safe landing. Harmony is only drawn to us once we truly let go of trying to control it. Let the flow of life carry you throughout the day. Don't try and steer it, don't try and control it and don't try and push it faster than it's supposed to go. By releasing control, letting yourself off the hook and truly embracing all the blessings that are currently surrounding you, then you will finally feel the harmony you have been looking for in your life. It sounds simple but it's the hardest concept to wrap our heads around. So stop thinking with your head, finally let go of everything that you have been trying to control and watch how life steps in to create the balance you have been looking for!

Independence

The winds that blow through the wide sky in these mounts, the winds that sweep from Canada to Mexico, from the Pacific to the Atlantic - have always blown on free men.

~Franklin D. Roosevelt

Independence

We are very fortunate to have been either born in this country or to live in this country. Life can get so busy that we forget to stop and think about the freedom we have due to some strong men and woman who not only wanted independence, but they understood the gravity of being truly free individuals. July 4th is a day of rejoicing. It's about being able to enjoy your family and friends as well as good food and conversation. But most importantly, it's about the freedom we have as individuals to forge our own path and define our own journey without anyone else being able to define it for us. Our forefathers understood that in order to live up to our true potential, we must be free in every sense of the word. It would be transformational not only for the country but for every individual living here. They embraced the power of their own independence with great tenacity and strength. They gave us permission to do the same. Go on and find your voice in this world and forge ahead with a new sense of freedom and purpose. Find the courage and fortitude to keep going in the direction of your dreams and don’t let others get in the way of obtaining your goals. In the words of Janis Joplin, "Freedom's just another word for nothing left to lose.” Well you truly have nothing to lose so go ahead, embrace your independence and enjoy what it means to be truly free!

Challenges

(Picture by my mom, Sue)

Eat a live frog first thing in the morning

and nothing worse will happen to you the rest of the day.

— Mark Twain

(Meaning: tackle the most overwhelming task the first thing in the morning and the rest of your day will be a breeze! Thank you Steve for the quote and for inspiring this pearl.)

Challenges

We all have some majors issues going on that either concern us or consume most of our thinking. So much of our time is spent on concentrating on how we are going to go about dealing with them. Whether it's thinking about what we need to do to get through the next big project at work, how we are going to juggle life and school at the same time or how we are going to manage our finances when the debt is overwhelming. Well "thinking" about these challenges doesn't help, it only overwhelms us even more and makes us feel like we don't have any idea where to start! Instead, take a look at a challenge you are facing only in the present day. What can you do today that will make it a little bit easier? By looking at this situation in smaller pieces, you not only will accomplish more, you usually will feel less overwhelmed while dealing with it. When you face challenges one day at a time, you relieve yourself and your thinking by creating positive movement to change, fix or accomplish the task. The next thing you know, this challenge will be far behind you! Start today by "eating a frog" and see how much better you feel the rest of the day!

Control

Just remember, there's a right way and a wrong way to do everything and the wrong way is to keep trying to make everybody else do it the right way.

~M*A*S*H, Colonel Potter

Control
What would life be without a few surprises! Usually they happen when we least expect it. Whether it's an opportunity that falls in your lap, a bonus you didn't expect, or running into an old childhood friend, life has a way of reminding us that we are not in as much control as we would like to believe. For some of us, that can be a scary concept. If we can't be in control then our world just may fall apart. But here's a secret, it won't! Life is meant to be lived, not controlled. Life is meant to be unexpected. It wouldn't be life if that were not the case! The more you can let go and start enjoying everyday for what it is, another day to experience so many fantastic things, the more you will feel fulfilled. Stop thinking that if you release control, your world will collapse. The opposite will happen. By stopping the act of trying to control everything, you release yourself from unrealistic expectations and gain the most important thing back, a life that you truly enjoy!